The Landing Net

The Missus whispered something to me last night as I was drifting off to sleep...

It's not what you're thinking.

She said, "Marilyn and I are going to the city tomorrow. Is there anything you need?"

"Yes, I'm glad you asked," I replied. "I need a new landing net - a trout net, if you come across one."

"Don't you have one?" she inquired.

"I do, but a couple of years ago, I was fixing the well. I needed something to weigh down the foot valve so it would sink to the bottom. One-inch PVC pipe comes in coils, and won't straighten out worth a damn. I thought about tying a rock to it, but I couldn't tie a knot that would hold a big heavy rock. Then I thought of using a net to hold the rock. Not long after that, I cut the mesh off my old aluminum landing net - sacrificed it in the name of domestic harmony," I explained.

"Oh, how sweet of you!" she cooed.

"I release all of the trout I catch," I continued, "so it hasn't been an issue. But today, when Dad hooked that beautiful brookie and wanted it for supper, I was in a bit of a pickle without a landing net."

"I'll try to get you one," she whispered.

"Thanks, Hon - you're the best!" I murmured as I fell asleep, while visions of laminated exotic hardwood landing nets danced in my head.

Today when I got home from school, she and Marilyn were in the driveway unloading their swag. Out of the back of her car came cases of bottled water, 48-roll packages of toilet paper, and a four foot long aluminum handle with about three feet of black mesh dangling down...

"What in God's name is that?" I choked. "I asked for a trout net!"

"Well, it's a net! What does it look like?" she asked, indignantly.

I really should have known better... I was half asleep at the time... I was bushwhacked... I...

I know what you're thinking...

You're right - there is no excuse. A man who can't buy his own fishing gear deserves what he gets.

Good Luck and Good Fishin'!
RP